some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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