Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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