I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
