so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
