I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
