A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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