i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
