peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
