oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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