just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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