Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
