Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize