She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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