I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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