Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The power of my boobs compel you
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
