The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
