I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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