watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
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Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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