the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
