You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
