There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I donโt want you to risk HIV or car crashes
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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