we have officially lost it.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
