i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
