im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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