i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
