Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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