i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
