PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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