if i died would you start the facebook group?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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