i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize