Got a toothbrush?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
