If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
