So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
