But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
