She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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