i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
