okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
