i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
