god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize