Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
