Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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