everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
