I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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