were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
