all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
