so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
