We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
