Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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