i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
