You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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