I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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