i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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