yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
