she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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