I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just invented taco cereal.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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