pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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