Moan for me like Helen Keller
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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