dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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