4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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