Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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