We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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