whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
