So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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