I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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